College. I don’t think we realize how big of a step it is from high school. Going from asking to go to the bathroom, to attending class whenever you want is a huge step and responsibility to take on. It’s always an assumption that it’s the next logical step after high school- and I think that is unfair to the students.
My college experience for my first semester was kind of a mess. I partied too much, didn’t study enough, and abused relationships with people and lost a lot of friends. I had a breakdown about three weeks ago- that is one week before finals. I ended up going home because I felt unsafe on my own. I stayed home for a week and decided to surprise my friends back at school. As soon as I walked through the door- I knew something was wrong.
I was excluded, ignored, and flat out lied to. The people who I thought were my friends were actually judging me the whole time behind my back. They found this opportunity to basically press the ‘unfriend button’ and told me to my face, “We don’t want to put effort into being your friend anymore.” Wow.
Now, if you knew me, you would now i’m very dependent on the idea of friendship and having strong relationships to rely on. I ultimately did not have that- and I think while my mind was telling me that all along, I didn’t want to believe it. I let it affect me so much, I couldn’t take my exams. I simply gave up: I had no energy left to put into people that weren’t going to put effort into me.
This leads me to the title of this blog post- a new start. I have made a really big decision- and the first one I really made on my own. I (drumroll please)
I am withdrawing from college. (For now)
I know this is a big decision(and this post is probably just for me to justify my own decision and make myself feel better), but I think at this point it’s what’s best for me. I have a plan, because knowing me I can’t do anything without a plan. I am taking a class to get my Virginia Real Estate License- i have always been interesting in the residential side of real estate and design, and I think this is a great opportunity for me. I also have started looking into nannying jobs. (I’m actually meeting a family today and i’m so nervous.)
This opportunity and decision also gives me more time to do the things I love- blog, craft, and write. And my college experience was not a waste- not at all. I learned so much and though I met some people that weren’t so great, I met some super great people!
So, that is my update. Kinda boring, but a big one for me. So, have you made any big decisions lately? Let me know!